News
swopusa: Is it OK to bash women if they are selling sex? - National Times, AU: http://bit.ly/c88AV0
swopusa: Transgender and wondering how to fill out your #census form? Here's the Census Bureau's answers (PDF): http://is.gd/aKJjV RT @Arizona_Abby
swopusa: All our email now belongs to law enforcement, no warrants required, privacy be damned: http://bit.ly/bIQkKN
NEW! When I dare to be powerful - Sex Worker Oral Herstory
A Publication by Akina Mama wa Afrika (AMwA), written by Zawadi Nyong’o and edited by Christine Butegwa and Solome Nakaweesi-Kimbugwe.
AMwA has been working in partnership with sex worker activists in Uganda and other countries in East Africa. This oral history project allowed women to speak for themselves to try and better understand the politics behind sexuality, sexual rights and sex work.
The research tries to present the multiple dimensions of women’s lives,
Year of publication: 2010 Theme: Economics and Development Theme: Gender and Sexuality Theme: Health and HIV Theme: Human Rights and Law Author: Zawadi Nyong’o Relevant URL: Link to the pdf on the NSWP websiteAustralia: Is it OK to bash women if they are selling sex?
Delightful dinner conversation at the Gender Studies Symposium at Lewis & Clark College
This past week, I attended the 29th Annual Gender Studies Symposium at Lewis & Clark College. Since I am local and available, I seem to get invited just about every single year on various panels, but this year I was invited to speak on the topic of disability and sexuality.
There is also a dinner reception on the first day of this conference for organizers, college staff, and presenters each year. I’ve never actually attended the dinner in all those years I’ve been part of the conference, but this year I thought I’d check it out. So I walked into a room full of people I didn’t recognize, and picked a table to join.
It turned out that all four people sitting at the table I picked were administrators at Lewis & Clark who had something to do with the conference. After a quick introduction, they went back to the conversation they were having before I joined the table, which was about the small swastika drawing inside men’s bathroom at the said campus.
To summarize their conversation, they were talking about how students initially did not take the issue seriously, dismissing the drawing as an isolated incident that didn’t mean anything. But the school took time holding campus-wide conversations about the incident and how it might affect Jewish students, students of color and others targeted by the Neo-Nazis and other white supremacy groups, and many white non-Jewish students began to understand that it meant something to some students and should not be tolerated.
“Can I ask a question?” I asked. “Well I was reading the program for this year’s conference, and correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems that all main speakers and performers seem to be white this year. I don’t think this conference was like that in other years I came. Has there been any conversations about that?”
Immediately, a couple of the administrators started stressing, “it was not intentional!” “We noticed that after we planned all the main speakers, but we didn’t do that on purpose. We picked our speakers according to their expertise in this year’s theme, and it was a coincidence that they were all white.”
It wasn’t on purpose? Of course it wasn’t! If I thought it was on purpose, there is no way I would step a foot on this campus ever again (and while this isn’t the main point of this blog post, WTF is up with the name of this school anyway?). And am I supposed to feel comforted because even though all of the main speakers and performers in this conference are white, it was not intentional?
The problem, of course, is not the presence of malicious intent, but the absence of anti-white supremacy intent to create a conference whose speakers and performers are not just competent, but also diverse. It is about the lack of willingness on the part of organizers to go a little bit deeper to find and invite researchers and speakers of color with equal level of expertise and knowledge who are not receiving fair share of attention or status either because of their background or because of the focus of research that white academia deems unimportant.
And if the college is not interested in making an effort to not let very predictable “coincidence” after “coincidence” take place not just in terms of the racial breakdown of the main speakers, but in other aspects as well, what’s the point of hosting Gender Studies Symposium anyway? Besides, how did the administrators fail to see the parallel between the defensiveness of Lewis & Clark College students over the swastika drawing on the urinal and their own defensiveness in response to my query?
swopusa: Sex worker raped, strangled in SouthAfrica: http://bit.ly/bKSdEO
Gee Thanks
“Worst come to worst I’ll just do a call with you.”
-new client
Four-leaf clovers
Then I’ll be in LA, where there will be plenty of sun but no air. I just looked up the weather, and they claim the air quality is good. I guess that means that the bureau of tourism decides the air quality now.
I’m getting ready for the 24-hour train, not quite sure why I’m going: I just want to look for four-leaf clovers with my grandmother, bend down in the grass and no, that one’s five leaves, that one’s six -- can’t five or six leaves mean extra luck? Sometimes she puts them in tiny gilded aluminum frames, I keep them on the bookshelf in my room. When you look closely in the grass, you find all sorts of things: weeds, ants, those tiny white flowers with brown in the middle, little trees just starting off, dandelions, buttercups, sometimes even a violet -- Rose, a violet, how did it get there? She hugs me because I’m special. We put the violet in a vase.
If I'm gonna be the poster girl for sluts, I want credit, damnit!
I have no idea who made me famous on PostRejects, but I did want to point out that the photo (in its original form below) is by Stacie Joy and was taken at the video shoot for the Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories book trailer shoot. The video is below. We're shooting book trailers for Please, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission (the book with the crazy hot book cover that I'm getting postcards and (a first for me) buttons for and will be giving away at Book Expo America!) and Fast Girls: Erotica for Women.
We're at over 90,000 views on the trailer, woo-hoo! I get my next royalty statement next month so I'll see how it's doing, I think pretty well. It's always a crapshoot (for instance, nobody's bought Rubber Sex) but I try to learn what works and what doesn't. I have a great feeling about all the books coming out this year...you know, all 9 of them. And this will be the year I learn to stop trying to publish so much and start working smarter, not just more, and focus in so I'm not thought of as the girl who will "write for everyone." A friend said that recently and she's right. I've written for free or cheap, to my detriment, and I need to learn to harness and focus that energy. Baby steps, baby steps. I'll still invest in myself with postcards and videos because, maybe it's just in my head, but I do think it's building toward something bigger, toward something so that someday I bring in the money I deserve from these books.
photo by Stacie Joy
Bottoms Up: Spanking Good Stories up for NLA-I Award
I'm so excited about this recognition and for those attending, I'll be sending a batch of Bottoms Up as well as some Please, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission postcards. I've been really enjoying Sexis and encourage you to check out Sarah Sloane's piece (linked below) and their other content, including Tuesdays with Nina - Nina Hartley, that is, a weekly video segment. You can also get a pretty print copy of Sexis.
FINALISTS ANNOUNCED FOR NLA-I WRITING AWARDS
(Columbus, OH) -- National Leather Association: International (NLA-I), a leading organization for activists in the pansexual SM/leather/fetish community, announced today the finalists for its recently created writing awards. Named after activists and writers Geoff Mains, John Preston, Pauline Reage, Cynthia Slater, and the organization Samois, they are awarded annually to recognize excellence in writing and publishing about leather, SM, bondage and fetishes.
The finalists for the Cynthia Slater Non-fiction Article Award are:
Gloria Brame, "Transformation and Transcendence in BDSM," which appeared in Filthy Gorgeous Things, July 2009, "Force" issue. Available at: http://filthygorgeousthings.com/
E.R. Chaline, "Contemporary Gay BDSM in the UK," which appeared in Skin Two (2009).
Jeff Mann, "How to be a Country Leather Bear," from Richard Labonté and Lawrence Schimel (eds.), Second Person Queer: Who You Are (So Far). (Arsenal Pulp Press).
Jack Rinella, "Juggling," which appeared in LeatherViews
Sarah Sloane, "The Biochemistry of BDSM," which appeared in Sexis. Available at: http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sex/bdsm-biochemistry-110492/
The finalists for the Geoff Mains Non-fiction Book Award are:
Lee Harrington, Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond (lulu.com)
david stein, Ask the Man Who Owns Him: The Real Lives of Gay Masters and slaves (Perfectbound Press)
Two Knotty Boys, Two Knotty Boys Back on the Ropes (Green Candy)
The finalists for the Pauline Reage Novel Award are:
Melinda Barron, Graceful Submission (Loose Id)
James, Buchanan, Hard Fall (MLR Press)
Alex Ironrod, Obsession (Nazca Plains)
Claire Thompson, Submission Times Two (Romance Unbound)
The finalists for the John Preston Short Fiction Award are:
Kieran Wyn DeWhurst, "The Last Mistress of the Chatelaine," in Cecilia Tan and Sarah Desautels (eds.), Like a Thorn: An Anthology of BDSM Fairy Tales (Circlet Press)
Jack Fritscher, "Goodbye Saigon," in Phillip Mackenzie, Jr. (ed.), Special Forces: Gay Military Erotica (Cleis Press)
Shanna Germain, "Second Skin," in Cecilia Tan and Sarah Desautels (eds.), Like a Thorn: An Anthology of BDSM Fairy Tales (Circlet Press)
Jeff Mann, "Lost River," in Richard Labonté (ed.), Daddies: Gay Erotic Stories (Cleis Press)
Xan West, "Missing Daddy," in Richard Labonté (ed.), Daddies: Gay Erotic Stories (Cleis Press)
The finalists for the Samois Anthology Award are:
Cecilia Tan and Sarah Desautels (eds.), Like a Thorn: An Anthology of BDSM Fairy Tales (Circlet Press)
Rachel Kramer Bussel (ed.), Bottoms Up: Spanking Good Stories (Cleis Press)
The winners will be announced at the NLA-I’s Annual General Meeting, which will be held during Tribal Fire in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma (April 30 - May 2 2010). Please contact the award committee chair, Steve Vakesh, for more information about the awards at stevevakesh@gmail.com. For more information about Tribal Fire, the National Leather Association, and the NLA-I's meeting on Sunday morning, see: http://www.tribalfireokc.com/ and http://www.nla-i.com
Bottoms Up is for sale from:
Amazon
Bn.com (Barnes & Noble)
Powells.com
IndieBound
Cleis Press
As sweet as it is kinky, "Bottoms Up" will propel you to pick up a paddle and share in both pleasure and pain, or perhaps simply turn the other cheek...For those who have an endless capacity to bare their ass in preparation for a sound smacking ~ or deliver the deliciously ecstatic pain to a lover ~ this torrid tour de force is essential reading.
Review at Rainbow Reviews
"...the stories here are a wonderfully diverse mix tackling spanking from a myriad different approaches.
For any fan of cheekily chastised cheeks, Bottoms Up is a collection that can’t fail to deliver."
-- Review at Erotica Readers & Writers Association
My Family's Medicine Cabinet
This morning I thought it might be fun to take you on a tour of my family's medicine cabinet. It will be a short tour. There are only six items. I mean, there could be seven if you counted the ear candles, but I decided those weren't exactly medicine and more a form of sick entertainment.
My family doesn't believe in doctors. I am not included in this. I love doctors. I practically have Munchausen's syndrome, I love the doctor's office so much. The reason I love to go to the doctor is because it feels both luxurious and defiant to me because as a child, I was never taken because my parents don't believe in doctors. I never even had vaccines until a few years ago when I went to college. My parents and my mother's mother think that doctors are part of some vast conspiracy to make people sick on purpose (I think the Bilderbergs are making them do it to control the population or something) so that they can continue to make money off of sick people and of course the big pharmaceuticals are part of it too. Modern medicine is a scheme designed to kill people and profit off of them at the same time. Doctors are evil and can't be trusted and none of them know a thing anyway. Doctors make you sick instead of healing you. Never mind the millions of people whose lives have been saved or prolonged due to medicine and drugs. Forget all those sick kids who got to get well and grow up and all the infertile people who got to have children. Ignore the fact that we've pretty much wiped out things like polio and small pox which used to be devastating. Or what about the fact that without modern medicine, I would have probably ended up in an institution from my hyper-thyroidism a couple years ago until I had a heart attack from it and died crazy at a young age? A simple procedure, discovered by doctors, fixed me in a couple short months and now I'm fine. But nope, doctors are evil.
And according to my family, you can basically cure anything with the above six items.
My family believes in magic bullet, miracle cure-alls. It can't be a combination of factors that lead to healing. It can't simply be the natural course of healing. No way. It's always some miracle cure that's often some simple item that the government or doctors or drug companies have somehow suppressed knowledge of in order to keep people sick and dependent on more expensive drugs.
The first miracle cure-all my family discovered was tea tree oil. For years my mother put it on everything. Our entire house reeked of turpentine from it and my mother has a very funny accent so when she says it, it sounds like "TEAtree AWL." As in "You need ta put some of this TEAtree AWL on your (yeast infection, canker sore, male pattern baldness etc.)"
ST 37 came from Memere Marie. She buys it at Walmart, but it's important to understand that you must specifically ask for it at the pharmacy. They hide it behind the counter. Memere puts this on EVERYTHING although the box says it's a medicinal mouth rinse. The last time I was at her house I slammed my hand in a cabinet and she went running for the ST 37 and some cotton balls. She is convinced that no matter what you've done to yourself, if you put ST 37 on it, it will heal overnight. You lost your arm in a combine accident? No problem. Put some ST 37 on the stump and in the morning, you'll have grown a whole new arm. A better arm even. She swears she cured someone of Lyme Disease from a deer tick bite, by soaking the rash in ST 37.
This year my mother discovered oregano oil from the Eyebrow People, who swear by it, and obviously one should always take medical advice from a bunch of 20 somethings with lines cut in their heads. My mother embraced oregano oil like it was the elixir of life itself. Every time I went to her house it was oregano oil this and oregano oil that. If anyone so much as sneezed in her house she was shoveling clear, yellow, pizza scented capsules down their throats. IT CURES EVERYTHING. I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't have shingles at all, but instead has a blistering rash caused by oregano toxicity. It seems that oregano oil has become the new tea tree oil.
My family has been obsessed with raw apple cider vinegar forever. It also cures pretty much everything. Tuberculosis, pancreatic cancer. Yeah, just take a spoonful of apple cider vinegar. I've had heartburn for my entire life. My mother swears apple cider vinegar cures it. I tried it. My heartburn got worse. It felt like something was eating a hole straight through my chest. Because adding acid to more acid is going to neutralize the acid? I see the logic there.
With my mother's current bout of shingles (or we think since she refuses to go to the doctor for the rash) she believes she has cured herself by soaking the blisters in apple cider vinegar and by taking Tagamet. Yet Tagamet is an actual drug, made by an actual drug company. She makes an exception. The reason why is because she found some article somewhere on the Internet that said something about Tagamet (an antacid) being miraculously discovered to be a immune booster and good for shingles and of course the drug companies suppressed this valuable information in order to promote the more effective antivirals like Valtex and Famvir (which actually work well against herpes infections like shingles). So because Tagamet is part of a conspiracy and its use can somehow be deemed subversive, my mother has decided that taking Tagamet is an act of defiance against The Man of Big Pharma and is therefore ok. By taking Tagamet for likely shingles, she is really sticking it to the big drug companies. She's not taking their Valtrex when she can take some heartburn meds from Walgreens instead! She's practically a revolutionary. And guess what? Of course she has declared it a miracle cure. The shingles were practically gone in less than 24 hours after her first tablet.
Half of the stuff I think she contributes to miracle cures is just the illness or injury clearing up on its own in the normal amount of time.
Last on this list is Bova Cream. I don't know what it is. It sounds like something for cows. Memere Marie swears by this one too. She sends it to everyone in the family after writing all over it in Sharpie "DO NOT GET IN EYES." Apparently something awful can happen if you get Bova Cream in your eyes, but I don't know what it is. I've been tempted to rub it into my cornea just to see what might happen. I mean, if I blinded myself I could always add a few drops of tea tree oil, rinse my eyes with ST 37, pop some oregano oil pills, down a spoonful of apple cider vinegar and then take a Tagamet and I'd probably restore my sight instantly. Right?
Try these remedies at your own risk, and if they don't work you can always pour straight peroxide into your ears.
swopusa: Sex workers in Bangalore organizing voting blocs http://bit.ly/99QIiI RT @audaciaray
I'm flying to Laguna Beach today with
I'm there until Thursday. Then I fly home and I'm here in Seattle for, oh, about 12 hours - just long enough to check on my house remodeling - and then I leave again Friday morning for Portland, to attend Kinkfest. I'm taking the train down, which I've always wanted to try. We used to travel by train a good bit when I was a kid, so I think it'll be sweetly nostalgic for me.
It's been a slightly crazy ramp-up to get ready for this set of trips, but it'll definitely be worth it. A perfect combination of intimate play with Traveler in a beautiful setting, and then a big social event with a lot of people.
If you wish to see me, the next day I'll be available for anything is the 23rd. I'm happy to talk to you about dates after that.
Bye!
Attention
My mother says the aide brought the flowers into the room with my grandmother, but she was really out of it. The aide lifted my grandmother’s head and opened her eyes, and then my grandmother was touching the flowers and smelling them. And then the aide read the card, and it said love, Matthew, and my grandmother mumbled something under her breath and it was hard to see her but it sounded like love you.
I’m crying again -- I didn’t realize the card would say love, Matthew. I’m glad my mother did that for me. I feel so much better after I cry, maybe I should cry all the time. Before, I was talking to my sister; my mother wanted her to tell me about the dishes they were looking at, my sister was choosing a set of dishes to bring back to LA, but my sister said he doesn’t want to hear about dishes, do you want to hear about dishes? He’s in the mourning stage.
It’s harder to talk to both of them at once, they’re in some other place with each other, with the whole situation. My sister says: I was more in the place where you are before I came here, but now that I’m here I just feel like she went out shopping, she’ll be right back, everything looks the same. There are all these people around. Do you want to hear what I wrote on Facebook?
But then my mother tells me about the flowers, and I’m crying again. I say thanks for sending the flowers, and my mother says no, don’t thank me, it was your idea -- it was a good idea, a great idea, Rose always loved flowers.
It’s amazing how much grief I feel, I mean it’s good that I’m feeling it but surprising too. I want to spend more time with my grandmother, even if the time I spent with her over the last 10 or 15 years was so rarely what I wanted. Last time I visited, she was even more distant, at one point I said it’s good to see you, and she said: it would be good to see you, without those earrings. Remember that? The closest we got was when we talked about her art, I offered the critical engagement of another artist and she listened. I wish we could have talked about my art too, but since I never really had that experience, I mean the experience of her listening to what I really wanted to say, what I think about more right now is when I was a little kid: then she paid attention.
This is precisely what I was worried about the field of bioethics
After a month or two of scholars and intersex activists challenging the prenatal dexamethasone treatment on fetuses suspected of having congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH) designed to prevent the virilization of clitoris, the pro-dex doctors are starting to publicly defend the controversial treatment.
In Bioethics Forum, a blog published by Hastings Center and where Hilde Lindenmann, Ellen Feder, and Alice Dreger have previously published a piece criticizing the treatment, two articles defending the treatment have been published.
- Ambiguous Genitalia: To Treat or Not by John Lantos
- Not Fetal Cosmetology by David A Diamond, Jeffrey Ecker, Ingrid Holm, Susan Kornetsky, Christine Mitchell, and Norman Spack
In addition, there is a research review paper in the current issue of Obstetrics and Gynecology Survey which apparently suggests that the dexamethasone treatment has benefits (But what is the “benefit” they are talking about? Not being born intersex?).
I had also written my own response, which was posted on Bioethics Forum, to the scholars’ letter of concern about dexamethasone treatment (”letter of concern from bioethicists”) to express my broader concern about the field of bioethics and role it plays in legitimizing ethically troubling medical treatments designed to address social problems.
While I haven’t been able to read the Obstetrics and Gynecology Survey piece yet (although it seems to be a straightforward review paper), both of the responses in Bioethics Forum seem to be exactly the examples of the problems with the field of bioethics that I was trying to address in my own piece.
Lantos epitomizes the tendency for pediatric bioethicists to endorse “let the parents decide” model whenever an ethical question is raised about any particular treatment, rather than seriously considering social and ethical implications of such treatment. It’s interesting that he calls for the “marketplace of ideas and marketplace of medical treatment” to sort it out, as it apparently would mean that bioethicists should have an opinion one way or another only when evidence is completely on one side of the debate, a scenario that does not require bioethicists in the first place. Who needs bioethicists if marketplace is competently guided by the invisible hands of God?
Diamond et al. (I only recognize the names of Diamond and Spack among them) embodies another problem with the bioethics, that is the main concern of my essay: bioethics’ obsession with regulatory mechanisms and procedures rather than the actual ethical considerations. I feared that Alice Dreger’s and others’ critique of Maria New’s practice as an un-authorized, un-supervised human subject research involving off-lable medication would only lead to a kinder, gentler version of the same practice under full IRB review, and that appears to be precisely what Diamond et al. are calling for. That is definitely an improvement over the current situation, and perhaps it’s a step we must go through, but I really don’t want to wait for ten or more years before the registry begins to produce useful information.
I want to write more, but I have to finish writing grant proposal to get a new group for queer people with developmental disabilities funded due Monday (and it’s 12:30am on Monday) and get ready to fly out to the East Coast in less than 24 hours…
By the way, if you happen to be near Providence, I’m presenting a workshop at Brown University on Wednesday, March 17th as part of Brown’s Pride Series 2010. The workshop is titled “Transgender inclusion, or Demilitarizing the Borderlands of Binary Gender System.” See their site for more info.
swopusa: website (www.swopusa.org) is backup, sorry for the downtime.
Preparing for Your First Anal Sex
Nude By Tree
From this gallery titled Windy. It was windy here today so I picked it. It wasn’t warm enough to frolic naked outside though.
The Real Orange County
But another reason I don't watch the Housewives is because I don't have to. My life here isn't all that different. Even better, my husband has close relatives who actually live in Coto de Caza, the neighborhood where the OC Housewives is filmed. I've been there many times. My Husband is originally from Orange County. When I met him he lived in San Francisco, but he was born and raised in Orange County. His entire family still lives there, so we try to go once or twice a year to visit. I wish we could go more. I actually like the area a lot and would absolutely live there. They have the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen. Living in flat Florida, I'm fascinated by beaches with rocks and cliffs. And seals!! I can't get over the seals.
Orange County has its share of orange women with fake boobs and tacky tracksuits, but so does South Florida. In fact, I'm shocked they haven't made a Real Housewives of Palm Beach County yet.
But you want to know about Coto de Caza. First off, it reminds me a lot of a desert version of where I used to work. It's beautiful and full of beautiful people and beautiful houses with zero lot lines. I've never understood the zero lot line thing. If you have a zillion dollar home why would you want it so close to other zillion dollar homes? I'd want a yard. That said, the houses are gorgeous and there are horse trails beside the roads. The neighborhood itself is gigantic and has gated communities inside of other gated communities. Most of the homes have luscious rose gardens. Roses don't grow here, so that's another thing I love about Southern California. Outside of the neighborhood is the absolute best Mexican restaurant I have been to in my life ( we also have a bit of a dearth of good Mexican down here). It's called Jalapenos and if you're ever in the area, it's in a strip mall and you must go. But anyway.
Of course I had to ask husband's relatives (and my relatives too now) about the Housewives. Apparently there's plenty of drama in the neighborhood at all times. The show isn't making that up. The producers asked my husband's cousin if he would be on an episode teaching one of the sons to play a sport. He refused because he said the kid was an idiot and he didn't want to be associated with those people. I guess there's like a main housewife on the show? Well, the relatives tell me she's a huge bitch and causes a scene wherever she goes and is one of those "Don't You Know Who I am?" kinds of people who takes a massive entourage with her just to go to the convenience store. She causes a lot of disruption in the neighborhood with the filming and diva-esque behavior. Our relatives say that once she decided to attend their church and caused a big scene there too. Everyone tries to avoid her.
Whenever we go out there to visit, and we're in Coto (as they call it), I always hope I'll see them filming the show, but I never have. It's pretty quiet.
The strangest thing that has ever happened though was last May when we went for a BBQ, we parked our rental car on the street and when we came out there was a slice of bologna stuck to our back bumper. Just a random slice of deli meat stuck on our car. I really wonder how that happened. If it had been a taco from Jalapenos, I would have eaten it.
Writing this is really making me miss California. We are going to have plan a trip to go back out there as soon as school gets out in May. I wish I could live there. Universe, are you listening to me? I want to live in Orange County. Soon. Ok?
(And the picture above - I took it from the car while we were waiting in line at the gate. I thought it might come in handy one day.)


